Happy Fakesgiving, 2010!

A few years ago, we started a new tradition of holding Thanksgiving on a totally separate day so that we could all be together for one day, and then spend 'real' Thanksgiving with our respective in-laws. It works out great and no one has to run back and forth to two or three dinners in one day. The day is very laid back and full of a lot of food and a lot of laughs. And now, a lot of really cute kids!

This is Lily's last 'first.' She has already celebrated her first Christmas, although she was only 5 days old so I don't think she quite appreciated it. How cute does she look in the little headband her mom made?


There is also a lot of drinking on Fakesgiving. Hey, it's apple cider! My mom gave it to her in a cordial glass and she felt very grown up. Her therapists want her drinking out of an open cup... no one said what kind of cup it had to be...

I know. This is starting to look bad. But this glass was empty when he found it... I promise!

This is Jack, by the way.

Jen is always the leader of the kids' activities, including throwing Mairead "up in the sky."

And teaching the kids how to be "jumping beans."

For even more entertainment, we played with these monkeys who sing Dey-O. The mom sings and the babies dance... it's pretty entertaining. The first time Jack saw them, he went nuts! He kept waving his arms and screaming, "Monkeys!!! MONKEYS!!!" The monkeys were runner up to the turkey in Mairead's eyes, though. She carried around that paper turkey all day and even took it to bed with her last night.

Bedtime was welcomed by all- the kids had a really fun day, but they were wiped by the end of it! Thanks to everyone for a great day!

A few updates

Sorry, folks, no pictures this time. Just thought I would let you know how things are going.

I went down to the public schools AGAIN yesterday to sign a release for them to observe Mairead because even though I signed one ten days ago, turns out that was not the 'right' one, so I had to go down there again. They are not making this easy on me, that is for sure.

They arranged to observe her on Tuesday the 23 (it was originall scheduled for the 16th but they didn't make it happen). The advocate is trying to get them to meet with us on Dec 1 or 2 to discuss the observation. She is as frustrated as I am about this whole mess. I rejected her IEP on JUNE 30. JUNE!!!!! And nothing has happened since.

In the midst of all of this, Mairead is awesome. She is getting much better at answering yes or no questions and about being able to recall what she did earlier in the day. Ashley, the OT we have hired for private sessions, is making a lot of headway with Mairead in helping her learn self care skills like dressing and undressing. She is initiating more sentences and more novel phrases. Her pretend play is great and she is a very happy kid. I do try to remember that all things considered, she is really amazing in where she stands right now. I mean, she could have died, or had CP, or been profoundly disabled, etc, but instead she is singing Christmas carols with me every night. She knows almost all of the words to The Twelve Days of Christmas (as performed by John Denver and the Muppets, of course).

Yesterday, we had a playdate with our friend Connor and his mom, Cheryl. We went to a sports complex type place that had one of those huge white domes that looks almost inflatable. We pulled up and Mairead said, "Look Mommy. It's a igloo." So cute!

She is obsessed with Christmas. I fully support this as I love Christmas! We listen to Christmas carols and read Christmas books. We will have lots of fun holiday activities to enjoy- Last year we took her to Zoo Lights at the Stone Zoo and she liked it a lot- we will probably take her again this year (but probably not the boys). We drive around and look at Christmas lights, bundle up and take after dinner walks through the neighborhood once everyone has their decorations up. We will go see Santa at some point and we have some holiday parties/events to go to. That's all I can think of right now. When Mairead is ready, we will take her/them to the Nutcracker, but definitely not yet.

Right now, she gets excited when we go to Target. She says, "Go to Target, Mommy? See Christmas?" We walk through the Christmas aisles to see the trees, lights, etc, so she MAY think that Target is where Christmas happens... need to do something about that...


The boys' toddlerhood is very different than Mairead's was, and they are SO fun right now. I feel guilty saying that and it's not as if I did not enjoy Mairead, but the boys are blowing me away with their language, what they understand, etc. They are little tornadoes of destruction, but they are SO cute and so funny. I love this age!

My dad does a lot of projects around the house, so whenever he gets home from work, Jack says, "Grampy. Fix it. Fix it!"

When I tell Ben, "I love you," he leans over and says, "MMmmwah" to give me a kiss.

The other day I said to Jack, "Come here, little man." So now he runs up to me and says, "I little man." Of course, when I try to get it on video, both of them run right up to the camera yelling, Cheese!!!

They love elephants and when they see one, they yell, "Eh fant! Eh-fant" and try to make elephant noises.

They are obsessed with hugging the cat and run around yelling, "Molly! Molly" until they find her.

If they see a paw print of any kind, they say, "A clue! A clue!"

Jack loves phones. He has full on conversations with imaginary people on the other end. Usually, they are getting yelled at for something or another.

Ben is so good about saying 'thank you.' He says it whenever you give him something or do something for him. He says it all long and drawn out so it is even cuter.

There are just so many cute moments every day- I am so blessed! thanks for letting me brag a bit about my kiddos!

And- a story/PSA--
The other day, I was in the kitchen when I heard a huge crash. A guy had slammed his SUV into the neighbor's SUV (a Sherrif's truck), which then hit the car parked in front of that.

The guy had two kids in the car (maybe 4 and 6)... thankfully, they were in carseats and seemed ok. He seemed to be ok but was in bad shape- shaking, crying, back and neck pain, etc. He was SO upset about his kids being ok, the considerable damage to his car and to the other cars... I feel bad for him. I guess he turned around for a second to give something to one of the kids, and just slammed into the parked SUV. Scary-- I called 911 to be sure they are ok. If you are counting, that is three times that I have called 911 in seven months. They are going to start thinking I am a lonely housewife who needs attention. I have to say- the responders have been awesome every time.

Anyway, it ust makes you think-- how many times have you turned around just for a second to check the kids, give the kids something, etc? Be safe, everyone!_______________

Falling for Fall

The weather was beautiful this weekend so we took full advantage and got the kids outside. Mairead loves playing in the leaves and going for walks to explore the changes in the neighborhood as the weather gets colder. We were lucky enough to be invited to a birthday party yesterday so we send a big thank you to Jake and Ben and their parents!

The boys enjoyed the chance to get outside, too. Most of the toys are put away, but their trucks and lawnmower are still around, so they had fun while staying warm.

Ben


Jack


This weather is great for being outside, but also great for making cookies when it is time to come in the house. Since Mairead is a novice chef, we started with the easiest kind of baking-- pre made! She had fun just arranging the dough on the cookie sheets and then checking on them while they baked.

Out in the yard, she was a big help to Daddy who did a ton of raking and bagging this weekend.

Mairead and I took a long walk to see what we could find in the neighborhood. We came across one of the last dandelions of the season and Mairead was fascinated by it.

A nearby wall has berries still clinging to a vine and she always wants to stop and collect some.

Not sure what this face is about...

I have to share this crazy dream I had the other night...I only remember flashes of images, but basically, Mairead was at a new school and I was with her. All of the other kids were running around playing, etc. Mairead kept wanting to climb this play structure thing, but there was a ladder part and it kept disappearing. She would want to go up, but I would have to go find the ladder, set it up, and help her with it.

People kept moving the ladder so I would have to go find it and drag it back. No one was around to help me. When I did get it where it needed to go, it was really hard to set up. It kept sliding back down and I had to learn a 'trick to it' to get it set up. I kept fumbling with it and getting frustrated, and she was sad that she just wanted to climb up.

When I finally got it right and we got to the top, there were cookies for everyone... I don't really get that part...

Anyway, the metaphor here is striking and sad. Think I might be a little obsessed with her education? We are still waiting to hear from the schools about when they will observe her-- we are hoping it is very soon so that we might move things along. I just hope and pray they see what we see and offer to give her the help she needs... soon.

Our experiences in Mairead's short life have not been what we expected. Raising a child with special needs is such a detour from the road we had planned on traveling, and we are moving forward without a map- just doing the best we can. Lots of people say things like, "I don't know how you do it." Or, "you're stronger than I ever would be. You're such a special person." I don't know that I believe that children with special needs are born only to special people, but I do believe that having a child with sn can make you become special. It can make you become an educator, an advocate, and a fighter. It can make you stand up for someone in ways you never have before. It can make you crazy, sad, depressed, and it can make you appreciate every single second of life more than you ever did before.

I don't believe that I was chosen to be Mairead's mom because I am special, I am just her mom, and any mom would do anything she could to make her child's life as wonderful as possible. I am doing what all moms do- the best I can. I do believe that being her mom has made me stronger and wiser, and that it has given me a new appreciation for every single moment of life. So many things I would have taken for granted before are now little miracles.

What makes me special is the way I have chosen to face this life unexpected. I am choosing to love my daughter, advocate for her, fight for anything she needs. Stand up for her, endure the stares from other parents, even educate them, and face challenging or uncomfortable situations if they are what is best for her. I love my child(ren) unconditionally. I don't care if they are valedictorians, quarterbacks, doctors, artists, or PhDs. I only care that they are loved, they are happy, and they someday know how much I love them.

Even more new friends!

Today, we traveled to Watertown to check out an indoor playground with some friends. Thanks to Lisa and Kacey and Katie, Bridget, and Keegan for meeting up wtih us! The kids all had a great time and all did really well- especially considering that they are all still adjusting to the time change AND we ran into lunch time AND there was a lot of excitement there.

Jack and Bridget had fun playing in the kitchen.


Ben took a little quiet time to read. He LOVES books.


But then it was time to get going. The boys LOVE these cars. I think we may have to look into them for the boys' birthday since whenever they see them, they absolutely must be in them.



Special Bears made a rare trip outside the house and had a great time. Mairead took them on every ride in the place and the three of them had a great time.

This is just about the best picture you can get of two 3 year olds, a 2 (almost 3) year old, two 1 year olds, and an 8mos old!

Jack is yelling "Cheese!" with all of his might.

Jack is blocking your view of Bridget and Keegan, but trust me, they are very cute! That is their mom, Katie, and seated at the head of the table is Kacey. Her mom, Lisa, is smiling for the camera, and Mairead and Ben are enjoying snack time.

And, just because they are so cute- a few more pictures of the boys in the sweaters that my dad's friend, Kathy, made for them. I am so glad they still fit!

Jack

Ben and his baby blues.

How cute are these little sweaters???

Jack, doing a little catalog shopping.

The weather here is lousy- cold and rainy- so it was a great day to get out and run around with some new friends!

New Friends

Yesterday, I took the kids to meet the children of a new friend of mine and we had a mom-kid playdate. Sarah is incredibly kind and welcomed our traveling circus with open arms. Her older daugther is Mairead's age and her younger daughter is just two months younger than the boys. It was a great match! Let me just say how sweet Sarah is-- two weeks ago, I was having a really upsetting and frustrating day in regards to insurance, the schools, etc, so Sarah and her daughters dropped by to bring us cookies. How nice was that? So, thanks, Sarah!

Jack- complete with a black eye from when Ben wanted to play catch and threw a real baseball at Jack's face.


Mairead and Audrey


Ben and Audrey had a great time together. They have a lot in common- mostly being professionals at causing mischief.

Maddie built a great 'pillow river' to jump in to while Jack made some calls.

Ben and Audrey. They could almost be twins!

Maddie is super cute and such a smartie! Mairead was much too busy exploring this new place and couldn't really stop to pose for pictures.

Thanks, Sarah, Maddie, and Audrey! We had a great time!

In other news...I went back into battle with my insurance company and got them to cover the neuropsych evaluation that we have set up for Mairead at the end of the month(yay, me). I am in the process of getting documentation of this coverage so that it cannot be disputed later, and I spoke with real, live, people who confirmed that it would be fine. I feel like I won a war.

As far as school goes, I spoke with the mediator Tuesday morning (she was very nice) about my goals, ideal situation for Mairead, etc. That was about 8:30.

At 12:30, someone from the school dept called to get more info about Mairead, her preschool program, what she is getting for OT, etc, what I would like to see, etc. She asked questions about her current school situation, her socialization, how she is doing, etc. I very honestly answered that things are not going well- she doesn't have any real friends, other girls try to play with her but she cannot respond or have conversations, so they lose interest. Other kids are already noticing and pointing out that she is different, etc. It's awful to know that your child doesn't have a friend. She doesn't realize it yet, but she will. Her teacher told me, though, that when it is time to go outside or go to circle time, some of the little girls will grab Mairead's hand and say, "Come on, Mairead!" and try to help her. That warmed my heart.

Anyway, the woman at the public schooltold me about this glorified playgroup run by the schools and facilitated by pre-K teachers. It meets three afternoons a week and does not have any kind of SpEd component. I have a suspicion that they were trying to placate me with that, but that is just not what Mairead needs.

So, they are going to send someone out to observe her at preschool. I was encouraged by this because, honestly, I don't see how ANYONE, a professional educator in particular, could see her in a classroom full of other kids and not clearly see her glaring need for extra support. I hope this is the case.

I am nervous, though, that they will send someone out to find evidence to use against us (ie, her strong academic skills, etc). I hope this is not the case, but I have not seen anything from them to indicate that they are actually willing to help us.

I am wondering if they got a phone call from the mediator and realized that I am not going to go away, and are now trying to put some steps in place to avoid mediation? I have no proof of this, etc, but it seems coincidental that the mediator called this morning and the schools called four hours later.

I am happy that things are moving again and that someone will actually SEE her and get a better picture of her, but I am trying not to get my hopes up in case this doesn't work. Please send us prayers and good thoughts that it does!

She is making such great progress and we can see it every day. There are still so many things that are hard for her, and it's hard to watch those things. For example, Mairead's class made little turkeys that are now hanging in the windows. They must have done a lesson about being thankful and the teachers wrote "Susie is happy for Elmo" or whatever on each one. Know what Mairead's says?

Mairead is happy for .

Right. It's blank. Because she did not understand what it means to be thankful and could never spontaneously answer a question like 'what are you thankful for?' Hers is is the only one without something. Just about broke my heart to see it.

Hoping that a visual would help, I had her watch the Blues Clues 'Thankful' episode. When it ended, I asked, 'what is Steve thankful for?" She named everything he said in the show. I said, "I am thankful for Mairead. What is Mairead thankful for?" She looked out the window and said, "I thankful trees and leaves and colors."

I asked, "Are you thankful for Daddy?" She got all excited and said, "I thankful for.... Jack and Ben!!!!" I just about cried. I said, " great job, what a good girl!" And she jumped up and down yelling, "I thankful for Mom!!!"

That's all I needed.

Thanks for reading- we hope that things are moving in the right direction for us now. The people at her current preschool have been amazing at trying to help in any way they can, and her former EI teachers are still helping us, too. We are so lucky to have these great people in our lives.
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Happy Halloween!

We had a great Halloween! The babies were old enough to enjoy it this year, and Mairead understood so much more than last year. They all had fun!

Even Lily got into the spirit by dressing up as the Tooth Fairy. Katie made her costume and Lily looked cuter than ever. She had SO much fun playing with her cousins and chasing them around the house.


Clapping is her new favorite thing.


Before the festivities started, Jack and Ben enjoyed a very formal snack of pretend ice cream cones.


Jack was giving kisses to the tiger head that was part of his costume.


Beth and Judy were the stars of the day because they gave us balloons. Mairead has not let them out of her sight since we brought them home. Thanks to Beth, Judy, Danny, Katie, Jackie, Chrissy, and Jimmy for a fun little Halloween party before trick or treating!


We piled the kids into the stroller to visit a few houses in the neighborhood. It was really dark so the pictures aren't great, but they loved it! Mairead thought it was SO exciting to go up to each door and say, "Trick or Treat!" She also wanted to go IN to each house and kept stepping inside our neighbors' houses... it was pretty cute. It was kind of neat to take them trick or treating in the neighborhood were I used to go with my family.


They were exhausted by the end of it- but they had all kinds of sugar to keep them going.

Thanks to everyone who made Halloween a huge success!

This morning was a bit rough since the kids were all out of sorts. There was a major episode at playgroup this morning because one newborn baby there had the EXACT same blue blanket that my boys have. Ben saw it and tried to take it, and was beside himself when I wouldn't let him have it. I'm talking full on wailing and crying with huge tears streaming down his cheeks. I felt so bad for him. Obviously, he didn't understand why I would not give him the blanket. He must have cried for 25 minutes straight- nothing would distract him. Eventually, I gave him a toy hammer and he banged that around for a bit so he felt better.

Other than that, playgroup is great. It is held in a local church and is just a big open space filled with toys that all three kids can enjoy. They also have story time, snack time, and craft time. Everything is very informal so if a child doesn't want to sit and listen to the story, that is totally fine, etc. It is ideal for us and we have been going every Monday morning. It will be a lifesaver in the winter!

Mairead has been doing very well with Ashley, her OT, and is playing with her right now. There is really nothing coming up for her until November 30 when we see a neuropsychologist, though we are battling with our insurance company about that already. We are also heading to mediation with the schools in the hopes of getting more services put into place. It's all a lot of phone calls, paperwork, and red tape, but we will just keep working through it all to get her what she needs.

We hope that all of you had a great Halloween weekend, too!