On March 6, at 12:08 and 12:09pm, these little guys turned four! Jack is one minute older, but Ben is the bigger guy in this picture. He's still a little bigger- by about 3/4 inch and 1.5lbs. But his big brother definitely runs the show. And he knows it. It's hard to describe how I feel about their birthday. On the one hand, it seems like just yesterday that they arrived. But on the other hand, it feels like they have always been part of our family. The first six months of their lives is pretty much a blur, so that doesn't really help! I am loving four. They are funny, smart, kind, and curious. They love each other so much and they are constantly saying and doing things to surprise and amaze us. They truly are such great little guys. They are kind to others, they love their big sister, and they are very polite. They always want to learn more, and they are always fun! I'm not saying we don't have our share of whining or 'testing limits,' but the good definitely outweighs the bad, by a lot! Happy birthday, my loves!
When they came downstairs on their birthday, the famiy room was full of balloons and they loved it. I love this tradition and hope we do it every year.
Mairead had school that day, so the boys and I headed to The Children's Museum in Dover, NH. We loved it there! It's much smaller than the one in Boston, but it was perfect for us. They had a blast investigating and it was small enough that I could keep track of them pretty easily. Their favorite exhibit was probably this submarine. They stayed in there for a long time-- it was the first thing we saw and Jack didn't even want to check out any other exhibits- he just wanted to stay there all day! fyi- in these pictures, Jack's sleeves are gray and Ben's are blue.
Once we finally left the sub, we found a cool dinosaur dig where the boys put on their 'Bat goggles' and answered the 'Batphone.'
I recently lamented the loss of Thomas the train from our lives, as the boys insist that they don't want Thomas any more, only Batman. Of course, though, where did they spend the most time at the museum? At the train table, playing Thomas. There's still hope! It was nice to spend the day doing something special with my little guys. I definitely recommend this museum for your 2-6 year old; I think 4 is probably the perfect age.
That evening, I had to take Mairead to APT so Dave took the boys out to dinner at their favorite 'restanot,' the 99. He also gave them their gifts, which were 'clicking on and off utility belts' that they had been asking for. All in all, it was a pretty great day to turn four!
I just saw that this is post #500! Wow-- that is a lot of cute pictures and a lot of rambling on my part! Thanks for reading!!
Anyway, if you have ever seen Mairead in a pool, you know that she LOVES being in the water. She would be in there from morning until night if she could. There are days when her skin is blue and she is shaking she is so cold, but she just does not want to get out. When she is in the water, she is even happier than usual, and it is so good for her. It builds muscle strength, helps with coordination, and provides the sensory input that she really needs. She talks more (and louder) while in the water, and it really is just her favorite environment. In January, she started swimming lessons with Pool School and they did a great job with her. She is usually very afraid of putting her face in the water, and afraid of 'the deep end.' By the end of the first lesson, she was completely submerging on her own, and a few weeks later, was independently jumping off the side into the deep end. She mostly 'dog-paddles,' still, as the synchronization of her arms and legs is pretty hard. She also still has the left-side weakness, so sometimes she ends up turning herself around when she leads with her right. But, she is getting there, and she loves it!
We had eight weeks of swim lessons and while she had that, I was working on getting her into an aquatic physical therapy program. This was not an easy task! There are not a lot of facilities that offer these programs, and some that do require that the person be at least 4feet, 8 inches tall. Most therapy pools are 4 feet deep, and the person must be able to stand comfortably. Also, it's not easy to get insurance to cover these programs because they are more expensive, and someone has to justify the use of the pool for PT, rather than just writing a scrip for regular PT. Thankfully, Mairead's neurologist wants to help however he can, so he wrote the scrip for APT with no hesitation. I then called every rehab or PT place in the area to see who could accomodate her. Once I had those steps in place, I tackled the insurance company red tape. It took some doing, and some frustration, but finally, she was good to go! Insurance covers the sessions with us paying the $20 co-pay per visit. I can live with that- especially since she has had eight sessions so far and loves it! It is definitely challenging for her and tires her out, but the benefits are myriad. She is going to Northeast Rehab which is in Salem, NH, which is about 20-25 minutes away, depending on traffic.
She has to have a re-evaluation every eight visits to get continued insurance coverage, so we'll just keep hoping it continues to work out. At her recent re-eval (which is on land), an Occupational Therapist was in the room and suggested to our PT that we ask for OT, too. She noticed a few things, including decreased self-regulation, that would warrant OT. Also, the PT wants to add on-land PT to help Mairead with things like stairs, pedaling a bike, catching a ball, balance, etc. They also recommended seeing an opthamologist because they are thinking she has some depth-perception issues. Her neurologist and I have discussed this in the past but held off because her language was not really strong enough for he rot understand and answer the questions during an opthamological exam. Now, though, we might be ready for that. I love the idea of Mairead getting more help, it's hard to think about how we will fit in all of these appointments since she does not get out of school until 3:30. I don't want to exhaust her; three appointments each week would be a lot for all of us. So, we'll see what they recommend and talk about the best way to make things work.
When we are at APT, there are a number of other patients in the pool as well, all of whom are facing disabilities more comprehensive than Mairead. Several of the other kids and young adults are in wheelchairs, and a few are also non-verbal. The families have all been very kind and very friendly, and everyone seems so positive. It's amazing to watch-- we get frustrated with Mairead's situation and wish that things were easier for her. But then I see these kids and parents who are facing such a hard road, and I am thankful for how lucky we are and how well Mairead has fared.
I was saying to Dave the other day that I sometimes feel like Mairead is living in two worlds-- one is the world of regular education, fully abled sports, traditional school and social events, etc. The other is the world of PT, OT, APT, Speech, IEPs, Neurology, etc. She is super smart and does so well academically, but there are many things in the neuro-typical world that are very hard for her, and that cause her to struggle and have anxiety. She is not as independent as most five year olds, and we do have concerns about her safety since she is not really aware of things like getting lost, or what she should do if that happened. If she didn't have a teacher to guide her, she couldn't even navigate her own school building. She can't ride a bike or climb a ladder like other kids, and she still does not really have 'back and forth' conversations with peers. However, she benefits so much from the typical models in her class, and just loves Kindergarten so much. She is thriving there, despite it being hard for her. But, the other world is part of her life and likely always will be. She needs these services to help her learn things that would come naturally to others, or to develop coping mechanisms for things that still elude her. It's sometimes hard to find places where she truly belongs, if that makes sense. For example, she has the opportunity to go to summer school through the public school system, but we are not going to send her. In that environment, she would actually be the model, not the one learning from others. We think she would have more to gain by being home with us and navigating social situations, day trips, etc. Plus, I miss her during the school day so I am looking forward to having her home with us!
This post about swimming turned into quite a long one, so I appreciate it if you have read all of this!
The MoMs group to which I belong is great about planning fun events for the family. In addition to our monthly meetings, we have MoMs' Nights Out, playdates, playgroups, and parties. The sale that I am always talking about is hosted by this group as well. I am so glad to be a part of it as the kids have had a lot of fun, and because I have benefitted from it so much. I have made some really great friends and had some great support from other moms of multiples and moms of kids with special needs. There are times when running the sale makes me crazy, but I admit that I enjoy the craziness. If you happen to have twins or higher order multiples and are interested, our website is www.nashobavalleymom.org.
Our Winter Party is usually held at Tyngsboro Sports Center and the kids have a great time. In the middle of winter, finding a space to let the kids run around like nuts is important! The weather that day was pretty lousy because it was snowing at the time of the party, but many families made it out and it was fun to see so many twins and their siblings.
February and March weather has not been kind to us here in Massachusetts, so we have spent a LOT of time inside. The kids are pretty good about playing together and finding things to do, thankfully. But we have had our share of cabin fever around here, for sure! One good thing about March birthdays is that the event breaks up the winter and adds some excitement. I just realized that I called March 'winter.' If you live in New England, you understand.
My parents were lucky enough to be in Mexico for the first week in March, so they gave the boys their birthday present a little early. It's a pretty cool city that has a motorized train, a hospital, fire station, and helicopter. It talks and makes other cool sounds. They boys were so excited about it! Dave was not excited about putting it together while they boys asked, "Is it done, Dad? Can I play with it now, Dad? Is it ready?" But it was worth it in the end.
We have been lucky to see a lot of Lily and Kellan this winter. It's nice that they live only 20 minutes away now. The kids have a lot of fun together and on the days they don't see each other, they ask when they can visit again.
Kellan is a sweetheart and is lately realizing how much fun it is to get attention. He gives great hugs and is into everything!
Mairead colored this picture of Beethoven at school, so she was telling Kellan about the composer one day.
I came out of the shower one day to find this scene. Apparently, they are all in a Batmobile.
This brings me to talk about a sad subject- the loss of interest in Thomas. For nearly two years, the boys were OBSESSED with Thomas. They would play only with Thomas, watch only Thomas on TV, read books about Thomas, pretend to be Thomas, eat from Thomas plates, etc. Now that Batman is on the scene, the boys tell me that they don't like Thomas anymore, and that they only want Batman. Since there is something every day that makes me see just how fast the time is going, and that makes me wish for a 'pause' button, hearing that they are 'too big' for Thomas breaks my heart a little bit. I keep trying to re-ignite their interest, and sometimes it will work for just a few minutes, but we are inevitably back to Batman. I think Ben would hold on to Thomas a little longer if he weren't so eager to do whatever Jack is doing, but Batman always wins out. I'm holding on to these trains and tracks, though...more for me than for them. I have this hope that they will return to their first real love and happily imagine adventures on the island of Sodor.
The other hard part about the end of Thomas is that, to me, it's symbolic of a loss of innocence. In Batman, the boys see sadness, pain and cruelty. They see that there are bad people in the world and that bad things happen. On Thomas, the worst thing that happened was that a cow was blocking the line, or that James needed a new coat of paint. When the boys were two and three, they didn't know that the world could be a violent and scary place. Their ignorance truly was bliss- for them and for me. I felt like they could just live in their little bubble for a while, and that it was easy to keep them safe. Now, they are older and that bubble is bursting. They know words like 'criminal,' 'dead,' and 'gun.' I wanted to keep all of these words away from them forever, though I know that is not possible. It happened that this loss of innocence coincided with the Newtown shootings, and that made me so much more painfully aware of the world that in which our kids are growing up. The places they should be safe are no longer havens. Kids are learning that Mom, Dad, teachers, and other people they trust can't always keep them safe. Bad things happen every day, sometimes terrible and inconceivable things. How do we protect them? And, how do we balance teaching them about the realities of this world with making them feel safe?
I know that it is inevitable that our kids will see the ugliness in the world, but just because I know it will happen doesn't mean I'm not doing whatever I can to keep that ugliness out just as long as I can. So, I'll be setting up those train tracks just as long as there is hope that they will return to the island of Sodor, and I'll always keep those trains to remember how simple things once were.
Or, Valetine's week, really. Seems like when you have kids, every holiday lasts a lot longer since there are all kinds of parties and activities. Mairead had a little party at her school but they don't allow sweets, so I sent in these little packs of goldfish. She spent a lot of time writing out cards for her friends, which was very sweet.
I went to a special evening out with my MoMs club that week and one of the nice touches were these little mice-- they are made from a cherry, almonds, and a Hershey's kiss. What a cute idea!
The boys had a special lunch in the den- they thought that was pretty exciting.
I made this hair bow for Mairead-- cute hair bows are actually really hard to find, so I just took a bunch of ribbons and sewed them together, then sewed them to a barrette. Voila!
Jack and Ben's school DOES allow for sweets, so I volunteered to make cupcakes. The more sprinkles, the better!
On the day before Valentine's Day, Dave and I took our kids and Lily out to dinner. Jack wore his batman cape and the girls wanted to get dressed up in their princess stuff. We were quite the sight at Friendly's. The kids were all really well behaved. As another family was leaving, the mom stopped and said, "I don't know how you do it with four so young!" I explained that only three were ours, but I don't think that really helped because she laughed and said something about how we were crazy to have three and then borrow an extra one. Since Lily and the boys are only nine months apart, people often mistake them for triplets when we are out. Imagine if we had taken Kellan, too? We love having the kids all together-- they are all so close and we are glad they are growing up this way.
Some day, I will get a picture of all three of them without weird facial expressions. Today was not that day.
In February, our area (and much of the East Coast, actually) was hit by a massive storm. Apparently, it is now a 'thing' to name snow storms, and this one was called, 'Nemo.' Nemo brought us three feet of snow, wind, blizzard conditions, etc. Many people were without power, though we were spared again- we are very lucky! Poor Dave spent about 48 hours shoveling at regular intervals. It was the only way to keep up with it. He did a ton of work. My job was to keep the kids entertained inside. Cabin fever can be rough, but at least I had the warmer job! It started snowing on Friday morning and did not stop until Saturday afternoon.
The kids were excited to finally get outside to play, and Sundaywas a beautiful day-- sunny and clear. They couldn't go out until Dave had shoveled places for them to play. The snow was nearly higher than the boys' heads!
Even the cats were intrigued by the storm. They also liked that everyone stayed in the house and had lots of naps.
Jen and Mike made the most of the storm by creating snow masterpieces in the front yard. Jen is famous for her snow sculptures, and she made some great ones to go with the name of the storm. So, Sunday evening, we all piled in the van and went on a little field trip to see their creations. It was nice to actually go somewhere. It turned out that they didn't have school Monday or Tuesday, so we were in the house for a LONG time!
Jen and Mike's 'Nemo' and 'Dory' were a big hit with the kids, even though they have never seen the movie. It's pretty cool when your aunt and uncle make giant fish out of snow.
It's actually new that Ben knows that his name is Benjamin Brian. For a while, he didn't WANT that to be his name. If you asked him his whole name, he might tell you that he was 'Ben David' (David is Jackie's middle name). My favorite, though, was when he insisted that he was 'Ben Little Ben Hickok."
By chance, Ben is the youngest. He came into the world less than a minute after his brother, but he is absolutely the baby. He has all the traits of a youngest child- he is sweet, fun, social, and easy going. I have always been fascinated by birth order studies and when I learned we were having twins, I wondered how being multiples would skew the traits that are typical of different 'spots' in the birth order. My kids, though, are aligned with everything studies say about the oldest, the middle, the oldest son, and the baby. I read once that youngest children grow up expecting good things in life, and that they are often optimists, and I love thinking that is what life has in store for Ben. He sees things differently than the other two. For example (and I love this about him), he notices beauty in the world. While we were in the car the other day, the sun was breaking through the clouds and you could see all these rays of light. Ben piped up from the back, "Oh, this is a beautiful view." He tells me when he sees a beautiful flower or a beautiful girl. He just notices little things and it's very sweet.
Ben is very attached to his brother. Jack is definitely the leader and Ben is happy to follow, and he wants his brother as close to him as possible. Hence, their beds. The beds used to be on opposite sides of the room but then the boys insisted on sleeping on the floor in their sleeping bags so they could be next to each other. Once the weather turned colder, they really needed to sleep in their beds, but they agreed to that only if they could be together. Jack will often reach out and stroke Ben's hair or 'pet' him, and Ben loves that. It's so interesting and heartwarming to watch them sometimes. They really don't like to be out of arm's reach of the other.
Ben is pretty creative. For example, he took the wheels from a building kit the kids have and put them alongside this horse so that the wheels would turn the horse into a 'Rob-bike' for Robin (the part that Ben usually plays in the adventures of the Dynamic Duo).
Without going into too much detail, I'll say that potty training Ben was really tough on both of us. It was consuming, frustrating, and prolonged. Finally, though, we had a breakthrough and have never looked back. As a reward, he got to have a special lunch date with me. He loved the one on one time and couldn't believe that only he was going. As much as he loves his siblings, he loves his mom more and definitely eats up any one-on-one attention that he gets. He also loves the 99 and will often ask when the "whole family can go to the 99 and grab some food." Now that he has the bathroom routine down, he will ask, "Mommy, are you so happy of me when I go in the potty?" Yes, Ben, I am very happy of you.
About a year ago, Lily and Ben had a hard time getting along. I think Ben was a little threatened by this younger child since he had always been the baby. Now, though, they are best of friends. Both Lily and Jack like to be in charge, so they are often butting heads now. But Ben is happy to go along with Lily's crazy schemes and the two of them are great together.
Both boys love to be in our bed. They say that we have the best blankets and that our bed is so comfy. Though they don't often nap, I still make the attempt most days, and I will sometimes find them snuggled together in my bed. Once, one fell asleep on top of the other and they both woke up crying because they were so tangled up that they couldn't get out!
Ben also LOVES mini-hot dogs. We had them every Sunday during football season and for the next six days, Ben would ask when Sunday was going to come again. He says cute things like, "Actually," and "I suppose." He will sometimes say that he neesd to take a 'snooze' on Nana, and then cuddle up with her. There are some words that he pronounces with a New York accent ("woth-ah" for 'water') and others that he apparently heard in the South, ("chay-ah" for 'chair'). He loves music and dancing. When he was learning to walk, I said he was like the penguin in Happy Feet who had to have his feet moving at all times. Now that Ben is more comfortable and confident (thanks to resolving the bathroom issues), he is back to that happy go lucky guy he was then.
Like Jack, Ben loves his little cousin. He is very sweet to him and brings him some of his most prized possessions. He loves to 'pet' him and asks questions about him all the time. All three kids are really looking forward to May when they will welcome another cousin! Brian and Christin are expecting their first baby and we are all so excited... especially since they are not finding out the gender so there will be a big surprise! The baby will be grandchild number six for my parents, and all six will be under the age of six until Mairead's birthday at the end of July. Six grandchildren in six years-- so much fun and chaos! We love that the kids are all so close in age and we love that we will be able to watch them grow up together. Love you, buddy!
